I want you out of my mind, but I want you so bad…I am running mad!

I am seated on my bed, with the Tshirt that I had on yesterday, still on my body.(Talk of poor hygiene😂😂)The weather is humid and I am all sweaty. I really need to take a shower, I think to myself. I had exams early in the morning, so I really didn’t shower before leaving(Again, poor hygiene😂😂).

Anyway, I am back from my exams, my friend Dorcas who is also passing as my roommate this month, is sleeping on the bed next to me, my other roommate, Charlynne, has gone to the library to study for tomorrow’s exams.

I’ll join her soon, I think, as soon as I get out of bed and go take a shower.

Did I mention that my current room is infested with ‘wadudu’ so I am staring at a cockroach going up the wall, jealous of it really, the cockroach has more motivation than me currently. Whilst the cockroach is busy looking for non existent food in this room, I am on my bed hoping for just a little ounce of energy, to get up and go shower.

But that is not happening, you know why?!

I can’t get you out of my mind!!

You probably think that I should stop thinking about you, right?

Trust me, I wish I could! I wish I could stop thinking about you and focus on preparing for my programming exam that is tomorrow, or even the Computer Architecture one, you know?

Oh boy!! I have tried forcing you out of my mind for a week now.

Do you know what I just did, I ‘googled'(a classmate of mine once said kookled😂😂) your sign to check if the stars deem us compatible! That’s how desperate I am becoming. Fun fact, Sagittarius men aren’t compatible with Gemini women(girls😂😂). But we could be the exception, right?

I want you out of my mind!

I want to stop seeing your face every time I close my eyes.

I want to stop thinking about you every time I write about my male protagonist in ‘In The Name Of Love.’

I want to stop craving your hugs, like a lovestruck teenager(touché😂).

I want to stop thinking of how your lips are so sexy.

Oh what I would do to have you in between my legs!

I want you out of mind but I want you so bad…I am running mad!

Its not like there aren’t any other guys.

There is the fifth year guy, but he is too annoying. And there is this way that he drags his words when talking, that should be seen as cool, but it just pisses me off! And honestly, I feel like he is too old for me. For anyone really.

Oh and this other guy, who can never pronounce my name right! He hasn’t shown any interest in me😂😂but a girl can assume. I’ve seen the way he looks at me. And I am pretty sure that he intentionally pronounces my name wrong, or he has no pronunciation skills, which might be a problem in the future! Imagine dating a guy, whose pronunciation is off, let’s just hope that the reading aloud skills are not at Grade Two Level.

So far, I have one who drags his words and one who might or might not be with the Grade Two level of pronunciation.

The former is just slightly taller than me, meaning that, wearing heeled shoes might be a problem in the future.

Are you seeing where I am going with this?

Before I forget, there is the funny one, but that is a story for another day.

I probably have boyfriend fever.

Scratch that, I definitely have boyfriend fever! With everyone getting boo’d up and all the romance books that I’ve been reading, I am pretty sure that the fever is inevitable.

Boyfriend fever, in definition, is when you want a boyfriend really bad and would do anything to have one.

I am too lazy to actually do anything about it, except wish you were beside me! Or on top of me really.

And just like any other fever, it is treatable, I can do what is called breaking the fever!

The first step to breaking any fever is always taking your temperature and assessing the symptoms; this is probably seeing how badly I want a boyfriend and the extent that I am willing to go.

The next step is staying in bed and resting; this is when I meditate and try then fail at doing the whole self care process.

There is staying hydrated then taking the medication, to break the fever; which works with all fevers.

But, here’s what I know, the worst moment to date or even consider dating is when you have boyfriend fever. Ever heard of settling? That’s what happens! And if I haven’t mentioned this before, my worst fear is settling!

So, yeah…

I haven’t told any of my friends about you. I can’t even say your name out loud anymore, because I am afraid someone might catch the tone and notice that I like you!

Maybe it is the boyfriend fever, but you are just perfect for me! And the worst part is, I think you give me the butterflies I keep reading about!

You know the way we are always being told to think with our brains and not hearts?

Maybe ours would have been one of those epic love stories people write novels about.

But here’s the problem; Brain not heart!

I want you so badly, I have to let you go. I never had you.

I need to stop thinking about you and go back to staring at the cockroaches on my wall.

Not Settling!

Brain not heart!

I want you so badly… I am running mad!

//Boyfriend Fever//

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I am Sandra Tacko, I am crazy amazing and this is my first blog.

I am not sure about you, but I am one of those people who writes down New Year resolutions. So, this year in January; I also did that and wrote a whole list with stuff to cross out by December. Anyway, it so happens that my birthday is in June so after turning eighteen, I rewrote the list; because I was not the same person I was when writing it in January.

(An alien took over my body and mind)😂

Actually, it was one of Sharon Mundia’s blog post that inspired the rewriting.

Anyway, there I was stalking Sharon like I usually do, which led me to her blog, and after reading a couple of posts, I stumbled upon her New Year’s resolution blog post.

I opened it and read it.

I then reread it two more times.

Feeling inspired, I looked for a blank notebook, opened the middle page and started writing it down. Just like Sharon says in her blog, I broke it down into different categories (specifically into ten categories). Below one of the categories, I listed starting a blog as one of the things I had to do before December came.

So I wrote it down, said a prayer closed it and probably went for a snack in the fridge.

(I eat a lot😂😂😂😂)

So, days turned into months, and I don’t remember when exactly but I had a conversation with one of my friends, Jacky and we talked about blogging and that night, I picked my laptop and started a WordPress account.

I then took a snap and sent it to her and captioned…yaaay(Okay this was not necessary😂😂)

Then one day as I was reading through my notebook, I remembered the blog promise. I took out my laptop, and tried logging into my WordPress but it seemed like my mushy brain forgot the password, so in a classy manner, I created another account, and I could feel like this time it was actually different.

So, I finished it up, said a prayer and promised myself that I was going to post something.

I joined campus around this time and made two friends: Charlene and Dorcas who also write, but I haven’t had a chance to read any if their works, but I am sure that it is amazing.

Anyway, so Charlene has been working on one of her blog posts and one day as I saw her hastily typing on her laptop, I was like: It’s about time Sandra.

So, after weeks of hyping myself up, November came around and being the month for writers, I thought, WHY NOT?

Even though the blog will be posted in December.

(Awkwardly standing in front of the class and waving)

I am Sandra Tacko and I am crazy amazing, and this is my first blog.

I come from Kenya, and I was born in Kisumu but we relocated when I was three weeks old, and since then I have stayed in Nairobi.

[Random person: Who are you as a person?]

I guess I should lead with I was born a girl and I am still a girl😂😂. I am eighteen years old, in campus doing Bachelor of Science(Computer Science). I feel at peace when writing, so I tend to do it a lot. I also love having fun and turning up, which means it is very easy to spot me at an event. Most of my friends say that I am a drama queen, I am really not sure about that, but I am a gemini…sooo😚. I believe in a grey area, I don’t think the world is in black and white so most of my views, are TOTALLY against most of the traditional ways…I’ll expound on this another time. I am also a BIG fan of Bruno Mars, I have the biggest crush on Freeman Mckinley, Yara Shahidi inspires me and for some reason Jess Conte’s is a fashion inspiration.

[I hope this answers you, and if it doesn’t please don’t run away, we have like more blogs and we’ll get to know each other better.]

I need you to think of that nerdy girl who is always behind a computer screen coding something, then think of that loud girl😂 in your class that always has something to say, now think of your friend who loves to write and is always scribbling in her notebook; do you get the picture?

Now, imagine all of this in one person, that doesn’t sound real, does it?

I know, sometimes I feel like it might all be in my head and I’ll wake up from an eighteen year-long coma😂😂and everything has been my subconscious mind keeping me entertained for eighteen years.

(Just to be clear😂😂I don’t code a lot😂I just do Computer Science 😅but I wish I was obsessed with coding 😂)

Where am I going with this?

The reason why I decided to start blogging is probably the reason why I do every other thing, to prove to myself that I can actually do it. That everything is possible under the sun.

That I can do it all (This is impossible, I really can’t…but let’s go with it).

That I can TRY and do it all.

(You don’t have to do everything though)

I also have a lot to tell the world and I feel like this would be the right platform to do so.

I’ll be talking about a lot but mostly issues affecting people aged between eighteen and twenty two. You know this is that age😂😂 the age where half of us don’t know what we are doing…me included; most people call us the ‘millennials’.

My blog is for you guys.

You’ll be relating to a lot of what I’ll be talking about; mostly stuff that affects us.

Are you in campus and you feel like whatever you are majoring on is no longer for you? Do you feel like your academic life is suffering? Do you want to improve on your social life? Do you think that getting a boyfriend will affect your academic life? Or do you just want a restaurant that has wings which are just the perfect balance of spicy and tasty.

Stick around and we will get chatty about any topic.

If you are a millennial; stick around and let’s get chatty.

If you are not a millennial and you want to understand us or you just looove 😂 our way of thinking; stick around.

If you love reading good blog posts; also stick around.

Follow me and I promise it will be worth it. Feel free to comment on my posts and to leave your feedback as it is greatly appreciated.

I also encourage you guys to comment even if you disagree with the posts, I encourage all feedback.

Guest posting will also be allowed but after sometime, once the blog has picked up.

I hope that in three to six months, my blog would have picked up.

So, please do follow me and keep in touch.❤

Till next time, byeeeee.